How Can Us Neurotics Survive?
Are you prone to nervous spells? Overthinking? Sweating not just the small stuff but, well… everything? Then like me, you may be neurotic.
Are you prone to nervous spells? Overthinking? Sweating not just the small stuff but, well… everything? Then like me, you may be neurotic. Over the years I’ve learned certain situations trigger the anxious, jumpy rabbit in me. Yet the good news is I’ve recently learned this fascinating coping technique.
First, here are some triggers…
Doctor’s offices—For me, this is the penultimate of nervousness. I don’t care if it’s the dentist, gynecologist, internist, ophthalmologist, dermatologist or witch doctor. I’m a quaking, miserable mess. I lose my cookies. My heart races. I assume the worst…always.
I don’t care if I’m picking up a prescription from the receptionist. Just entering the office itself gives me jitters. My doctor said I have the worst case of “white-coat syndrome” he’s ever seen. Nurses shake their heads in pity. I hate being this afraid. But there I am.
Jury duty – I was recently called to be a first-day juror. The strange part is I’ve been a juror before. What got me scared this time was the dreaded “Voir dire.” This is where you sit in the witness box in the courtroom. A cranky lawyer fires questions like you just held up a liquor store.
Each query takes five minutes to ask. They use terms like “questionable doubt” vs. “legal intent” vs. “admissible evidence.” I give what I hope is a coherent answer. My mouth dries up. I’m not used to thinking this hard. I’m sure everyone’s judging me, including the defendant. I want to go home and eventually I do, but first I sweat it out. (By the way, I didn’t get selected. Shocking, but true).
Crowded elevators—This always happens to me. I’m 5’3” and the rest of the world seems huge. Men in particular are towering giants. The more packed the elevator, the more I end up plastered against the back wall.
That’s when my claustrophobia kicks in. I imagine getting stuck between floors, all these people trapped in this small space! There’s no air! I can’t breathe! Just thinking about it makes me panicky. At the moment I’m ready to claw the walls, the doors open. I sigh, thanking the elevator Gods.
Small Talk – I must confess, I’m good for about 30 minutes at large social gatherings. I rotate the room several times, looking for a friendly face, but then panic sets in. A woman’s coming toward me; I sort of recognize her. I’m going to have to make that dreaded party-speak.
We do pretty well for a few minutes. But then comes that awkward moment when we run out of things to say. We each scan the party with forced smiles, as if checking everything out. But secretly we’re scrambling for the next bon mot. I start getting nervous. Where’s the nearest exit? My comfy clothes and book beckons.
Airport gates – This neurosis isn’t to be confused with the actual plane. Oh no, the gates have their own brand of crazy-making. First are those huge windows where you see how bad the weather is or the fact the plane’s not here yet. Why, I wonder? What happened? Was there engine failure? Oh God, I’m expected to board this crippled plane when it finally limps in?
Then there’s the constant drone of cable news squawking from ceiling monitors every twenty feet. Who got the brilliant idea to recite to already-jittery passengers the world’s crises every fifteen minutes? Get me out of here.
Airplanes— Does much need to be said about neurotics and planes? I have tried everything and I mean everything (chill pills, booze, meditation, videos, books, magazines) to convince myself I’m safe in a vacuum-packed tin can 35,000 feet in the air. Forget it. I’m a mess…the entire flight.
But here’s the good news…
Author Elizabeth Gilbert was interviewed recently on her best selling book, “Big Magic.” She talked about fear. And what she said made my day and might even have helped.
She said… get this, it’s okay to be afraid.
What? I’ve spent my entire life trying to outsmart fear. I’ve pushed it away. I’ve told myself its not there. Now I’m supposed to hang out with it?
But then I remembered something. Every time I try and ignore anxiety, it clings to me like a crying toddler. Elizabeth said fear should be allowed to stay, but with certain ground rules. Fear must stay in the background. Fear cannot try and run the show. Fear cannot keep me from living life. Fear cannot take over.
Phew, I thought, all this makes sense in a strange, neurotic way. Maybe my problem hasn’t been fear, as much as fearing fear itself. (Thank you, FDR). I will still do things that spook me. But this time, I’ll admit I’m scared. I won’t try and outrun my feelings which only adds to the tension.
I’ll accept who I am.
And maybe, finally, that jumpy rabbit will calm down.
Do you feel the same way? If you like, please comment and share. Thank you!
About Laurie
Laurie Stone writes from the woods of Easton, Connecticut. Her work has appeared in the Huffington Post, among many others. She produces the blog, “Musings, Rants & Scribbles,” a site that explores growing up, growing older, and growing (hopefully) wiser.
Laurie recently published her first book, “Tail Wags & Whiskers: Pet Tales of Love, Joy and Chaos from Forty Years of Cats and Dogs,”which sells on Amazon for $.99 on Kindle. Free on Amazon Prime.
She has won several writing awards including a prize from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists and Erma Bombeck’s “Nickie’s Prize for Humor Contest.” Laurie lives with her husband Randy, her 90-year-old mom, and a bossy Yorkie named Libby.
Enjoy “Tail Wags and Whiskers,” a family story about the enduring love, devotion, and affection between pets and their humans. Free on Amazon Prime…
Some Amazon Reviews for “Tail Wags…”
“Laurie Stone’s tales evoke laughter, tears, and a profound sense of connection. Whether you’re a pet lover or not, this book’s touching stories remind us of the enduring bond between animals and humans.”
“Warm, witty, and infinitely satisfying, Stone takes us on the pet adventure of an entire lifetime.”
“I have been reading Laurie Stone’s blogs for years and each makes me giggle , shed tears and feel so fulfilled. Just the right amount of everything!! Thank you for this delightful read and thank you for rescuing!”
“I laughed so hard I snorted. I cried so hard my nose was sore from blowing. This story brought back over 55 years of animals in my, life it was both good and bad, oddly enough, just like owning any pet. I would recommend this story to any reader who loves animals.”
“This book touched my heart. Like the author, animals have always been a part of my life. The joy of sharing their lives and the pain of losing them in the end are just two sides of the same coin.”
“What would life be without our furry friends? The excitement of bringing home a young puppy or kitten. The unbearable pain when they must leave us. Ahhh, but the joy and love in between! The author entertains us with the story of each of their many pets as her family grows up. Some are clingy, others mischievous, a few escape artists, but all adored and an integral part of the household.”
“Haven’t cried that much in years. Poignant story telling!”
“Absolutely loved this book about pets and the way they bring family together. It was endearing, funny, and beautifully written. I was totally hooked, laughing and tearing up from cover to cover. A must-read for any fan of cats and dogs!”
“I’ve had pets all my life, and at present have four cats, a dog, and a parrot. My adult kids have picked up the tradition, and I’m not even sure what the family-wide total is at this point. This book, written in a charming, endearing style, underscores the fact that pets are part of the family. It’s both fun and heartwarming, and would make a great gift.”
“A delightful tale of a family and their animals. Beautifully written, Laurie takes us through the years with her pets. It sounds simple but it’s an endearing story and I thoroughly enjoyed it.”
“Tales of family pets. From the first kitten as a young married couple, through pregnancy, young children and empty nesters, there have always been cats or dogs, or both. All with their own endearing characteristics. I have to admit, when she likened one of her dogs to a Biewer Terrier I was quite excited, as that’s the dog I have. Pet lovers will enjoy reading about the fun, and inevitable tears involved in being a pet parent.”
“This is a memoir of family life that covers the decades through the ownership of pets - that cycle of life and death which only pet owners are familiar with. The memoir is skillfully crafted, portraying family life over the years, weaving in the intricacies of pet ownership of dogs and cats. Each pet is beautifully characterised and the reader feels they know each cat and dog that passes through the family’s ownership, from the time they are taken home from the rescue centre as young and lively as creatures through to old age and that point that all pet owners dread when you have to say goodbye. It’s peppered with amusing tales as well as more reflective moments and is a heartwarming and delightful read.”
Before even reading it (put in on my read list) I loved the title🦋
Fellow overthinker here. Sweating the small stuff. And an internal pedal-to-the-medal engine. Always enjoy reading your work, Laurie!